March 3, 2023
Life goes on. Yes and life has changed. Life changed is interesting, frustrating, and requires my attitude adjustment which includes acceptance while searching for improvement.
Well, that was a mouth full! I'm here, writing today in this blog to myself and anyone else interested. So my life goes on. The changes included sleep disruption at night, reading a book for awhile, taking some CALM a magnesium supplement, late at night either napping at the downstairs couch or back upstairs with CPAP in place. I rinse my nostril out with saline, use nose drops of two generic varieties to clear up congestion, but then wake up to go downstairs, After breakfast I nap again on the couch and make another cup of expresso latte. I continue to hike twice per week. Now, I'm the slow poke making my way this Wednesday up the steep mud slippery trail to the main Onikiniki ridge trail to the summit viewpoint. Windy rainy weather but the main hiking group was ahead of me so my current hiking experiences have changed where I'm with a group but yet more isolated. Talking while hiking is more difficult an adjustment and I miss the conversations. Good hiking friends are there with a smile and I have some conversations. I had a small group of fellow hikers who enjoyed our bi weekly adventures but now I tag along. My hiking requires a left leg brace since my Achilles tendon is severed. I use two hiking poles for stability to cope with my peripheral neuropathy. I need to stop when my pulse goes above 140 which I can check on my IWatch. Sounds sad but not really just an adjustment.
My beer and wine drinking has greatly diminished since alcohol and cardiac and renal disease don't mix well. Drinking aged scotch whiskey with ice is a memory now. Juice and good water are my mainstay. My expresso latte remains my breakfast beverage. Monday afternoons I've blessed by up to four and sometimes five senior friends who sit at our dining room table and share opinions and interests with each other. Our range of topics vary from quantum theory, cosmology, black holes, spooky action at a distance, to paying off the national debt, prison culture and possible reform, fact checking, artificial intelligence, celebrity pronouncements and hubris, etc. Our two to three hour group meetings include some lunch and some personal sharing.
Some days my mood is low with some irritability. For example, when at the supermarket waiting for my turn to order some poke a person broke ahead into the line which irritated me so I suggest he wait in line. The poke preparer got annoyed with me telling me to back up and wait on line (rightfully so!). In another example, a old friend sent me a recycled video of some debunked lecture all fake and spreading misinformation. I emailed back then called him while I was irritated at his naivete and his sharing such misinformation. I should have just let it go. However, most of the time I'm grateful for Rebecca's cheerful support and companionship. We do enjoy each others company and talk about many interesting subjects. So has my cognitive function changed? Some times I get concerned about blocking on names and information bits on the tip of my tongue. Having an iPhone handy helps. Sometimes I'm sharp as a tack while other times not so. Fortunately, this has been my lot for many years so I can worry but I have no strong evidenced I'm losing it.
I continue to read. Lately Barbara Kingsolver Demon Copperhead and now Gabrielle Zevin Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. I also read the online articles of the world's issues, problems, wars, and disagreements. I especially am critical of misinformation, chaos brewing fake news pronouncement's, and conspiracy misinformation tropes. Heather Cox Richardson's newsletter is a favorite of mine https://open.substack.com/pub/heathercoxrichardson/p/march-2-2023?r=e7gdu&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email.
My piano does continue to challenge and delight my senses and musical nature. I continue to hear some pieces on the radio so I order more sheet music to challenge and interest myself. Rebecca sometimes gives me her applause. We do watch TV frequently at night with interest in some very delightful shows such as Everything Everywhere All At Once.
Life changes include experiencing the demise of close friends and neighbors. Some continue to be alive but are struggling with serious dementia, cancer, blindness, and mobility handicaps. On the other hand, our medical progress in cancer treatment may cure my nephew of his cancer so we're all upbeat! Do I think about my end? Well, yes so everyday is a gift.
My daughter and grandson are here on Oahu and we frequently share time together. My eldest son is the hike leader and I see him for dinner once per week. His two children are on the mainland pursuing their education and careers so we meet whenever they visit Oahu. My son and his wife from Spokane now have a studio apartment in Honolulu so we see each other a few times per year. Their children like Oahu so I'm in touch with them. My sister is in California in assisted living. Her children and grandchildren continue excellent support but her health issues are serious.
Health issues are changing not only my life, my nephew's and my sister's life. My wife continues to maintain improvements after her fall through the attic ceiling onto the second floor with compression factures of her spine. Now she has her aches and pains but remains very active walking the beach and hiking. Her chronic pulmonary scaring disease remains a problem but so far no serious flareups. My sons now are facing their own medical issues but their troubles are under control though some future surgeries may be in the offing. Their wives also have their flare-ups of disabilities and medical problems so far under control. Even grandchildren are facing injuries and illnesses they must cope with. So my worries about my health must be put into perspective.
So we can dwell on changes that require adjustment as stressors or opportunities. I'll keep on the opportunity side for now.
William Butler Yeats.
Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven
Had I the heavens? embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Comments
Post a Comment