March 4, 2021
March 5, 1973 a grand event at Kapiolani Women's Medical Center! Ann Jacobs was in labor. I was there with her since the morning. We spent time in her prelabor private room while she had contractions with the discomfort palpable. Finally my stomach said feed me loudly so she reluctantly agreed that I go to the cafeteria where I got change and bought four or five packs of peanut butter crackers which I wolfed down super fast and rushed up to run to the delivery room where she was hard in the birthing process. At her head I practiced with her as per my lamaze training both of us breathing and "push". We were in sync but as the delivery and episiotomy happened she gave birth as I struggled to contain the peanut butter substitute that wanted to come out of my stomach mimicking an oral birth. I was successful in preventing this from happening as was she and Sarah was born. SadlyAnn is not here with me to share in her memories of that day. As I have written researchers have shown that all of our memories undergo revisions in our ever living and reorganizing brain. We're not wired like a hard drive. Nevertheless, Sarah is here living in Weisbaden, Germany and my memory of her birth is precious to me.
I go hiking occasionally with a man whose memories seem to stay cycled in dystopia and past traumatic events which he briefly shared with Rebecca. He does not have any living family members. He is married to a a mother of a daughter. He hikes frequently sometimes by himself. He told me he and lies in bed full of irritable and depressed thoughts and feelings most days arising early in the morning. Unfortunately he watches some TV mostly FOX type "news" and shares with me at times off the wall "facts" such as that the current flu and COVID-19 death and morbidity rates are similar and Trump has been unfairly treated with no basis for his impeachment trials. When his stepdaughter visits home from college their views clash so he withdraws. I'm sure I don't help since I can not contain myself from sending him scientific peer reviewed articles debunking some of his "news". So PTSD does put the amygdala and its system connections in overdrive so emotional anxiety, irritability, panic, and painful experiences are reawakened with reliving through current more innocuous reminders drive the person to isolate and ruminate in depression. He has tried to get help from the Veteran's Administration but counseling and medications have not relieved his distress so he has given up on outside help. I write all this to apologize for my smart ass feedbacks that serve little except to cause more alienation. I am fortunate that I have so many memories like the birthing process of my daughter to enjoy and be happy for. My hiking friend's PTSD appears to be almost completely enveloping. In our last hike with another wonderful hiker friend I was attempting to be joking and more light hearted trying to find a way to get our morose hiker to smile. Finally he did and we all smiled with him.
I finally completed Robert Sapolsky's book Behave. So much information with reviews of important research into the biology, psychology including game theory, and sociology of our humanity. He takes us into the selfishness and rejection we have for each other depending on our group affiliations and the inclusion, sharing, and support we can give to each other usually of our own group not the others. He gives clues to how to make the others now more like us so we can live together with diversity. Interesting studies into why someone will risk their lives to assist another while others are bystanders while someone is attacked or is in danger in front of us. His conclusion is we don't know why since the rescuer otherwise appears to be an ordinary person. Making amends and apologizing for mistakes requires some fortitude to read. The women who is sure that the rapist in the lineup presented to her that she identifies is for sure the right person now sent to prison and then after over the years the actual rapist shares information and is identified by DNA. She goes to great lengths to meet and do what she can for the man she now realizes she falsely accused. The victim shares with her that they both were victims of a flawed justice system that failed them. The Truth and Reconciliation panels in the different countries (Balkans, Rwanda, South Africa, Australia, U.S.A.etc.) allow truth to come out though apology is much less apparent. In one month Kikuya deaths of over 700,000 people. One of the tools for propaganda against the hated is to use metaphors of disgust and revulsion (cockroaches, yellow devils, vermin, etc). Appeals to our disgust system linked to the amygdala from the insula in the propaganda reinforce our resolve to war against them they are not like us they are disgusting and dangerous! The recent news that the holders to the right to Dr. Seuss books will stop publishing some of the books because of these depictions. Theodor Geisel was employed as an artist during the Second World War to feed the American propaganda machine about the yellow peril. So our black propensities to maim and kill each other often driven by prejudice and fed by propaganda has a most recent example of a mob wanting to kill Pence and others at the Capital January 12, 2021. Sapolsky gives interesting information about how difficult it is for us to kill each other face to face but not from a far. During the battle of Gettysburg researchers have statistics that the muskets loaded and ready to be fired versus fired once or more that once. Some 20 % fired. Other battles show similar reluctance. During various conflicts in Europe both sides had unofficial truces such as Christmas day, deciding not to target latrines by their artillery, and sometimes swapping clothing. shared food, and drinking together before returning to battle. The military command taking a negative view of these practices have attempted to demonize the enemy to counter these human tendencies. An obscure corporal named Hitler agreed. But then there is the mob mentality fed by some psychopathic leader i.e Mai Lai! American troops were fed false information that Viet Cong sympathizers were being succorred and hidden. Lieutenant Calley stoked the troops and a frenzy of killing unarmed peaceful villagers ensued (between 300 to 500 womens, men, and children with gang rapes and human souvenirs parts). When support troops came to assist a helicopter pilot realizing the massacre proportions and the perpetrators intentions turned his helicopter around and told the American troops, his comrades, that he would train his machine guns on them unless they stopped. So the heroes of these type of racial and prejudice conflicts such as Mandela cleverly learn how their opponents live, talk, eats, and party. Meeting the hated and cruel opposition Mandela learns African, practices the cuisine and behavior of social Africans at a meeting and endorses the love of soccer to win over the support he needed. Other heros are less fortunate such as the shopkeeper who set himself on fire to protest the corruption and abuse he was experiencing started the Arab spring movements toppling many autocrats. But back to PTSD the drone pilot having his drone hover over the target, viewing the mundane life of the inhabitants, and then witnessing the supersonic missile destruction with the maiming and horrible deaths. This witnessing is enough to cause widespread PTSD amongst the pilots ranks. So Sapolosky quotes Santanya that if you don't study our mistakes in history you will repeat it.
Music is heard in the auditory lobes while musicians process music in the occipital lobes. I started out as a listener though I had piano lessons as a child and dabbled with the ukulele I returned to the piano in my 70's by taking two years of piano at Windward Community College. Sarah left her piano when off to college and I got some of the strings of the Steinway repaired and later purchased a upright high end electric piano. I'm slowly progressing so that Rebecca sometimes enjoys my time absorbed in translating the paper printed notes into actual music. Well, I think my brain plasticity is working since it's less stressful and more enjoyable to sit and play from the sheet music in front of me. I'm not able to play without it. Oliver Sacks in his book on music writes about people with dominant lobe strokes who are then more easily able to play and sing music.He is suggesting that the dominant lobe suppresses the creativity of the non dominant hemisphere. Saplovsky give some information that study and mastery of a discipline leads to thickening of the corpus callosum the white matter responsible for the communication between hemispheres. I'm hoping that brain plasticity and new learning will keep my brain healthy. In any case, the reason for this paragraph is related to my music listening. My two smart stereo speakers are now working so I went through my catalogue of digitally recorded music on my Sony Hapz and played a quartet of Dvorak. I haven't listened to this recording in some years yet it all came back and was very familiar so I could enjoy the piece. Good to appreciate the brain that was working today!
Yesterday, Ron, Tina, Rebecca and I hiked in familiar territory partway to the Waimanalo Ditch Trail then up steeper to the Mahalo Trail on a clearly designated way up to Rebecca's relief to the Mahalo Trail then to the Ohana Trail up to the highest point where we headed back. Six miles of effort with some heavy breathing while I glanced occasionally at my Apple Iwatch to see my pulse and sometimes slow down since over 130 is too much. Even so the visual beauty, the breeze on my body, the rusling heard in the trees and the bird calls were all there and enjoyed by our hardy threesome. We talked story and gossiped finding our commonality and comradery.
Sarah, Joshua, and David do share with me enjoyment of exercise and the out of doors especially in the wilderness. I'm fortunate that Rebecca also likes to commune with our nature walks and our smiles cause a glow in us. Our human encroachment on this fragile planet needs our attention to ensure future generations also enjoy these experiences. When Ann gave birth to Sarah she then went to her gynecologist of get a tubal ligation. He said sure just have your husband sign this form saying he also agrees! Well, she persuaded the ACLU to take on the case and won though Kapiolani Medical Center did back down. As an aside when I came to Hawai'i as a physician I had to have a temporary license sponsored by the State of Hawaii as my sponsor since I was going to work for them. Then to get a permanent license I had to be interviewed by a member of the board of Medical Examiners who just talked story to me and then approved my application. I used the ACLU to overturn that requirement which was successful. All of my family are not rebels or interested in in your face rebelliousness but we'll do our part to influence others to use rational rules rather than loyalty and good boy methods.
Leonard
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/01/12/us/capitol-mob-timeline.html
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