February 6, 2021
For example, we were playing Azul and her father was scoring tiles that were not even touching as part of his multipliers*. He claimed that since it was not forbidden in the rule book, he could score the tiles that way for extra points. While this is going on, her mother is covering the board with her hands and is not letting anyone else look while she is scoring. Again, nothing in the rule book against it so it's fair game.
I tried to challenge them by asking them how they would react if I reached over and took tiles off their board and put them onto mine. It's not against the rules so I should be able to do so, right? Nope.. that would be crossing a line and would be unfair. I seriously felt like I was in some sort of bad Twilight Zone episode. I'm getting angry thinking about it right now. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? What did you do about it?
Correction* - I wasn’t clear enough about what the father was actually doing- I apologize. He was scoring individual tiles as part of his multiplier when scoring other rows. It’s so convoluted I can’t even explain it properly. For example, if he has 2 horizontal tiles connected to 2 vertical ones , he would count an isolated tile on one of the rows as part of the combo." https://www.reddit.com/r/boardgames/comments/lapuf1/i_am_never_playing_another_board_game_with_my_sos/
I got myself into serious difficulties resulting in the ending of a relationship when I was being taught a game in which I was told that if I suspected the player of cheating I should say so (my understanding this was part of the game) but when I did he took it very personally and was furious!
We all cheat to some extent. When not following the rules we speed purposely. We do rolling stops at stop signs (dangerous). When hiking our group frequently ignore no trespassing signs. Our income tax submissions are scrutinized for " errors" and cheating. When in college we visit each other in dorm rooms which are off limits. We go to parties that do not observe social distancing and have more than the recommended and permitted number of people causing the pandemic to spread. We go onto airplanes and refuse to wear masks or lie and travel though we know we have tested positive for Covid-19.
Our fidelity to our marriages and partners is often broken when we cheat. Well, we can rationalize this behavior by claiming too much to drink, drugs, over stressed at work, the other person came onto to me so I couldn't resist, if you weren't such a bitch this never would have happened! etc.
Well of course I can't leave the former president out of this. He calls election officials and asks them to find him votes to change the election. He has hired various lawyers and used his influence on various politicians to rig the election results in his favor. He mounted media and follower ire to try to intimidate officials so he is declared the winner or else his followers will stalk and threaten the official who goes against him. The media have even called these maneuvers as THE BIG LIE. Well, this is no surprise to me since he is the most outspoken liar to come along in a long time. So lying and cheating can go together. Just mount an attack by claiming a falsehood that is obvious and yet many begin to believe the lie ie Obama was born in Africa and is a Muslim so should not be running for president. Or he ran adds in major newspapers claiming that the unfortunate teenage group in Central Park New York were rapist and teenagers should suffer the severest consequences for rape which it turns out they never did. So cheating and lying can have grave consequences. We go to war over weapons of mass destruction which was a lie know to some of the perpetrators of the lie to save face and gain political points. Of course, Valerie Plame loses her secret clearance and her job because her husband uncovers some of these lies.
Well, our Iran agreement over nuclear weapons involved very specific oversite measures to assure the U.S.A. and others that Iran was abiding by the agreement since we know they would otherwise try to cheat.
So if I'm on a diet do I cheat? I know I'm an alcoholic and or drug addict and have an agreement with myself or others to abstain. Is using again cheating? or associating with the environments conducive to using? If I do use do I lie?
The most ethical and truthful people I have met are alcoholics and drug addicts that have maintained their sobriety through following the 12 step program. Even lying and cheating about other things are less likely to happen with them.
So religion and ethical practices can be avenues some people use to prevent themselves from "sinning". I may confess my sins in certain religions and ethical systems to another. So then we have the subject of shame and guilt. There used to be debates concerning cultures which use shame or guilt as a means to civilize us. To be civilized means to be more ethical, less prone to violence and rule breaking behaviors, and charitable towards others. Guilt can be a means to control uncivilized behaviors. Shame likewise can control the more basic animal instincts in us.
"Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in psychology comprising a five-tier model of human needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid. From the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are: physiological (food and clothing), safety (job security), love and belonging needs (friendship), esteem, and self-actualization.
Needs lower down in the hierarchy must be satisfied before individuals can attend to needs higher up."
So this leads me to at least mention that there is a whole branch of study called ethical theories. ie https://www.dsef.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/EthicalTheories.pdf
So I'm suggesting that to counter the ill effects of cheating and lying we adhere to ethical principles except that the definitions and parameters of actions and limits can be arbitrary and debated.
O.K there is no take away. To me some behaviors involving cheating and lying are innocuous while some others are very serious, can be devastating and harmful to some, and reprehensible. It's useful to think and take stock in this area from time to time.
Leonard
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