October 16, 2020
Last evening we had my son David, his wife Lisa, her son Alexander, their daughter Katherine and her partner Lindsey over for Chinese take out out on the lanai with two tables separated but intimate. Alex is living with his father's family. He has finished his education in music. He is unemployed waiting to return to Los Angeles hoping for some sort of employment in his field. In the meantime, he seems quite isolated doing some reading, at times practicing his guitar and composing, and exercising with weights. He joins us for dinner but since it's after 5 P.M. he refuses to eat anything due to self imposed restriction not to eat after 5. He shared this evening that he finds himself unable to complete his tasks that he sets out for himself for the day so after 11 P.M. he decides to go out walking at least 7 miles. When he talks about anything it's usually about his own thoughts and reflections on how to think rightfully and truly. He is reading Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman but when I mentioned to him that this author was featured in a PBS broadcast called Hacking your Mind he said he does not watch TV. I don't think he checks his email since he has never replied to my various attempts to communicate via email. He likes to talk with Rebecca about her art and her process of creation which impresses me that they have this in common and can communicate mutual interests. When I suggested that playing his music in company of others "jamming" may further his art he said that he preferred playing alone. My memory of our history together reinforces my feeling of caring for him and therefore concern about his isolation. As we interacted this past evening he got up at one point and spent some time doing push ups on the deck as we ate and talked. He had little conversation with his sister and her partner that evening. David and Lisa did not enter into the conversation with him which puzzles me.
Katherine now finished with undergraduate education lives with her parents and now these past few months with her partner Lindsey. Lindsey is pursuing her architects degree with about two year remaining. She is pursuing part time employment. Katherine and she seem very relaxed and happy with each other. They talk about various shows they watch and their opinion about various issues during our conversation is interesting and contributes to our group discussion. She has had a terrible time with anxiety and depression since prepubescent times. For many months now I observe from a great distance with room for much error that she is happier and less overwhelmed. She is very observant and able to be critical in her thinking devoted to her goal to act and work in the performing arts theatre and speaking and acting industry. Katherine and Alex produce some music she with songs and he with guitar solos. We listened with great pleasure the other week. She has auditioned for various speaking roles including a recent possibility as a reader for audio books.
I think back to my own experiences at their age. I was plugged into medical school after college with the first year full of anxiety due to a classmate a year ahead who had to repeat the year due to academic failure and I worried I could have the same fate. I had no other plans except to be a doctor. As a result I was obsessive in studying at least five hours per day after a day of labs and lectures. I had my exercise routine of push ups and other in dorm routines. My sleep cycle was peculiar due to my obsessive study routines. Sometimes a few of us in the first year would go out for dinner to City Island off of the Bronx for seafood or rarely go play golf on the public course. Ann and I married that first year in December 27, 1961 and she was able to transfer to Barnard to finish out her senior year. We got a place not far from the school and managed to notice each other with growing love though I'm sure I was no fun to live with. My anxiety and obsessive study habits did inhibit spontaneity and fun.
I have not kept up with the different designations for people born during the time of Katherine and Alexander. (GenX and Z). What is different today is the social media avenues that can captivate the attention of people, the anxiety over employment security and monetary concerns, the availability of groupthink associated with various closed group propaganda associations that has given many a cause, a sense of belonging, adventure, fearful conformity, and robbed many of their slow thinking good sense. The pandemic has caused havoc in our lives and isolated us from each other with more fear in the older generation. Our country's population is greatly divided with a demagogue fear monger leading the charge to dismantle our democratic institutions and confuse our thinking with lies while he profits and prevents his opponents from attacking him.
So being younger. Starting out living with your parents. Unemployed with elusive prospects for employment and a career in this social isolating contentious country must cause serious problems in their minds!
The article below is quite remarkable for a newspaper like the New York Times. It does describe our present problems with much political anti Trump direction.
The following article describes one writers take on the job market difficulties that Alexander and Katherine face. I'm reminded that my father was employed as a salesman during the Great Depression and my sister and I grew up in a household with great economic insecurity.
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/05/class-of-2020-graduate-jobs/611917/
P.S.
I have shared this post before publication with Alexander and Katherine and have their permission to publish this.
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